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5 Ways to Watch Team Canada Win Gold

March 2, 2010


Following Team Canada’s probable (though often doubtful) securing of the gold medal and our country solidifying itself as the greatest nation ever built, it’s important to remember how the world was won. I firmly believe that I was probably the biggest reason that they won.

1. Walk down to the neighbourhood coffee and arts shop, grab a cup of joe and a cream soda, and begin the path to new vibrations and the height of excitement.

2. Spill the cream soda on the carpet before the game starts because the coffee is kicking in.

3. Secure yourself a spot on the floor in front of the couch because your heart just won’t be able to take it if you’re a further foot away from the action.

4. Grasp your chest repeatedly and feel regret for pushing your adrenaline to the limits of human consciousness when the greatest game of all time was sufficient enough to make you the nervoustest person in Alberta.

5. Gloat because you called it.

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